What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
