After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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