I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Help. Why am I so naked?
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