I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
