I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
