come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
