do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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