Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
