So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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