The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
