Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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