Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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