Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i think i scared a bird with my dick
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
