i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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