Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My vagina just clenched in fear
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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