I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
