Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
