I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
