I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
