The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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