Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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