Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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