have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
