The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
