walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
