Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
