oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
