its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
