The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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