he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
