So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
