just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
