Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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