Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
