I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
