How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
