I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
