My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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