I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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