He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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