I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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