My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
