jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Randomize
