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I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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