I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
