i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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