if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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