he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
