We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
