three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
