i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
