I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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